carry on

I talked with a friend today – we were thinking about how we handled the last months. I don’t feel like I’m having a trauma. But it’s true – during the first month I almost did nothing at all – if I hadn’t had “Operation Onigiri” and “Berlin loves Japan” I guess I wouldn’t have done anything at all – but had felt much more at lost. And I am still getting overwhelmed by sadness from time to time – for a brief moment.

You know what I missed? Being carefree. I think I was – and I am – kind of afraid to be too carefree – not to care.

Not am much of a party-person, I did a lot of dancing and drinking during the last two or three weeks. It helped – I didn’t thought at all – I lived. Without joining everything it was still great to laugh and bounce with the people I met – or rather got to know – after coming back. I would call them friends now – I hope they don’t feel pressured by these words.

This may be a bit solemn – but I am again really thankful for being able to be part of something like this.

During our talk today, we came to a point where we had to admit to ourselves that maybe this won’t be over soon. Maybe we never get to know everything. Maybe we will have to face this for the rest of our lives. We will have to face it again and again – and maybe sometimes it won’t be about movin’ on but to carry on. We will laugh and be carefree and live.

Oh – I had a great weekend


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